Bikram Yoga

Before moving to the city centre the boyfriend and I lived in Reddish, Stockport. We were new to the area and I wanted to join a group of some sort. Yoga was my choice. On Monday evenings I would walk 25 minutes to the leafy Heaton Moor and pay my £5.50. I wasn't great at it but I persevered. Then I made a new friend at work who lived round the corner so I roped her in and we would go together. 6 months later the teacher put his prices up and things got silly so we reluctantly gave up.

A whole year later and I found myself suggesting to the same friend that she join me for a spot of Bikram. A spot of Bikram...how naive I was. (For those of you who haven't heard of Bikram, click here)

Rather foolishly I read far too many not-so-glowing-reviews online and grew quite scared! The yoga I could deal with but the heat was going to be tough.

To the look the part I skipped off to H&M and bought some black leggings and a baggy white vest hoping it wouldn't cling to my tummy too much. What I hadn't realised was that after 30 minutes of Bikram your not-so-flat-tummy is the last thing on your mind. Did I say 30 minutes? I meant 5...

The studio itself was lovely, very clean and bright, and full of bare foot beauties, some size 6's in teeny tiny shorts and others more curvy in leggings and vests. We fitted in!

Upon entering the room the heat hit, wow it was hot. We began the 26 postures and within 2 or 3 I was wishing I could leave. Our teacher, although very good, had a very strong French accent and I struggled to follows her directions. It didn't help that she was so strict, eyes forward, no fidgeting, mouth closed, eyes open!

Beginners were encouraged to sit down if we needed to, at last permission to rest! I sat down a few times but so did the other beginners so I wasn't too embarrassed. The heat made me dizzy, and I felt sick but worst of all was the feeling of not being able to take a full deep breath. Minutes felt like hours and my idea to count each posture so I knew how long there was left soon melted away along with me, my brain couldn't manage it.

We were told to join back in for the last posture, as not doing would be like 'going to the toilet and not flushing' ahh what a nice thought. I obeyed and did my best to look interested. Then we were told we could lie down and rest, I grabbed my friend and ran! Finally, we could escape.

In the changing rooms we chatted to the other ladies and asked if they too all felt like dying, yes we were told, 'we've seen people drop like flies and throw up'. So we'd done well by staying conscious! That's encouraging.

I'd heard that Bikram would give you bags of energy and make you sleep like a baby. I walked home so slowly I nearly stopped, had a rubbish night's sleep and struggled to keep awake at my desk the next day! Not quite the desired effect.

And we paid £10 for the pleasure. Can I have a refund please?

Joking aside we were both rather proud of ourselves for finishing the class and I have considered going back, mainly to see if I can sit down less and join in more. I might have to wait a few weeks until I've forgotten the suffering.

For now I will be dancing in front of the TV to the newest Davina DVD that arrived from Amazon this morning. Speaking, breathing through your mouth and air conditioning are allowed.